Thursday 26 July 2012

Licence To Kill

Within the fictional world of James Bond to become a double 0 agent and receive your Licence to Kill, you have to kill two people.
This has some worrying consequences, for a start, does this mean that serial killers are allowed to go on killing after their second murder?
Secondly, in between the wannabe double 0s first and second kill they are technically a wanted murderer. What if they get arrested before they get to the second kill?

Also, if a licence carrying agent gets annoyed with someone in the street they are legally licensed to kill them, it would be a shame if a spy killed someone just because they were having a bad day.
And do people within James Bonds world call the police to report an "unlicensed killing"?

By the way, this is what I imagine a Licence to Kill looks like.

If you own a Licence to Kill you probably have to carry it with you when you want to kill.
It's no good saying "No really, I am allowed to kill people, I just left my licence at home".

Friday 20 July 2012

Boleyn Ground.

Every so often I walk past West Hams football Ground in Upton Park.
I'm not really into sport but I was curious as to why it is called Boleyn Ground, so I did a bit of research.
The most common belief is that she stayed on the land once when it used to be a castle.

But then I dug a bit further and found that the real reason is because for the first six years of the teams existence, she was their star striker. Here is a photo that proves it.
She wasn't a great player, records show that in her entire profession career she only scored four goals, and two of those were because the keeper was scared of how Henry VIII might react if he saved them.

Despite this she was very popular among her team mates, who would note how she was never late.
It is fair to say that during this period she was the teams most dedicated player and then, after a spat with her husband, their most decapitated player.

Tuesday 3 July 2012

People shouldn't ask for my opinions.

I often fill out online surveys and usually see them as a chance to have fun.
I'm not the only one, occasionally you hear about surveys to find what people hate most/ what people find most boring/ what people find most irritating, and so on. The number one answer is usually 'filling out surveys'. 

The following examples are from when my University has wanted my opinion on improving the course.

 Did you enjoy the practical side of this module?
"Yes. Deconstructing a thingy was really fun."

What did you think of the teaching of this module?
"There was very little teaching. And I often wasn't paying attention."

How could the maths lessons be improved?
"If the maths taught could be related to real life situations. That would be good.
Like in primary school. 'Jane has three apples, she eats one. How many apples does Jane have?'
It could be 'Jane has three apples and four imaginary bananas. She eats one apple and finds an imaginary tomato. How will Jane cope?'"

And this when the guild (our student union) asked 'What should the guild start doing?'
 "Handing out free cash."

A survey on the BBC website asked 'What do you dislike about the iPlayer site?'
"Well, it only does TV and radio.
It would be good if I could use it order food or buy DVDs or practice word puzzles.
But no, you decide that watching TV and radio is enough. Well it's not enough for me!
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I have been visiting other websites behind your back.

Please forgive me!"



I may add more examples as time goes on.